? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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