Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
