It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
