Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
