Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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