True but thats because hes a fetus.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
