shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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