I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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