in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
