Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Alive.
So much puke
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
