No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
