you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
