Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
