My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
