All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
