Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
