I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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