@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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