I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
