apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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