i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
