Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
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So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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