Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
