fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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