he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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