i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
handjob tips. give me some.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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