It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
