Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
