girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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