Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
