I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
