Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
