"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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