So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
