either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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