I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
