Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
