hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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