I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
