She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
