Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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