I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
