Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
