Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
