the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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