Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
