Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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