We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize