I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
