he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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