You made me cry and you don't even care
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
it hurts more in the daytime
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
