Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
