Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
