So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
