I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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