They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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