Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pee on everything he values.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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