Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
