The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
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