youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
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