just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
My pussy is not your playground.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
