i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Randomize
