WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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