According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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