As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize